Matilda the Musical

When I became pregnant the first time, Mr Duncan and I started a new practice in which he reads aloud to me in bed a couple of nights a week before we go to sleep. 

Mr Duncan can be a bit of a gadget addict and this was my way of trying to ensure we both had at least half an hour of non-screen time before bed to

promote good sleep hygiene (and fertility).

We were supposed to take it in turns reading each book but it transpires Mr Duncan falls asleep almost instantly when I read, and given he said he doesn't mind doing all the reading, now he does all the reading.


So far we have read

• Watership Down by Richard Adams
• The Rivers of London Series by Ben Aaronovitch
• The Hunger Games Trilogy  by Suzanne Collins (although we have started and stopped with this - I have a problem with the violence right before bed and need to take breaks) 

We are currently reading Boy, the first autobiography by Roald Dahl who is the author of the book Matilda.

Matilda the Musical opened in London last November and since then I have been asking Mr Duncan when he's going to take me on a date to see it.  I like to take advantage of the culture available to us in London once in a while and I am a fan of musical comedian Tim Minchin, who wrote the music and lyrics.

One of the things I like about Tim Minchin is the articulacy of his lyrics.  He uses a wide vocabulary and often makes unexpected choices which tickle my sense of humour.  

Storm is a good example of his work (animated video contains strong language and anti-hippy sentiments).

Both Tim Minchin and Roald Dahl have a good sense of the dark and absurd, so I was sure they would be a good mix.  

I haven't actually read the book Matilda or seen the movie and made a point not to find out more than what I already knew - which was that it was about a little girl who liked reading and developed some special powers to restore justice with regard to those who mistreated her.  

So when we went on Wednesday night, I didn't really have any expectations.

As a singer, the main thing I like about musicals is the singing.  I know that sounds obvious, but a well pitched, strong voice speaks strongly to me emotionally.  Its the reason I listen to, and frequently cry at, opera - irrespective of whether or not I understand the words.  I've been known to cry at contestants singing on X-Factor for goodness sakes.

This show had me crying at its first line - but because of the words, not the voices.

My mummy says I'm a miracle.

Deep breath.  

Children are all miracles though this fact is sometimes not appreciated by people who do not experience any difficulties in having them. 

The opening number went on to illustrate that Matilda's birth was not desired or her existence valued by her parents, which just made me cry harder.  

Its so unfair!

An accomplished reader, in the song Naughty Matilda wonders why characters in stories do not take action to change the endings of their stories.

Just because you find that life's not fair, it
Doesn't mean that you just have to grin and bear it.
If you always take it on the chin and wear it,
You might as well be saying you think that it's OK.
And that's not right.  

And if it's not right, you have to put it right.
But nobody else is gonna put it right for me.
Nobody but me is gonna change my story.
Sometimes you have to be a little bit naughty.

and in a reprise at the end of When I Grow Up

Just because you find that life's not fair, it
Doesn't mean that you just have to grin and bear it.
If you always take it on the chin and wear it, nothing will change. 

Just because I find myself in this story,
It doesn't mean that everything is written for me.
If I think the ending is fixed already,
I might as well be saying I think that it's OK,

This is very much how I feel about trying to have a child.  

It was not okay that I was not getting pregnant and no one else was going to get me pregnant so I had to take action and do what I could to change my story.

Cue more tears.

So far, I'm projecting myself all over this show, but I was unprepared for additional elements in the plot that were not in the original book (and do not read further if you plan to see the show and don't want to know about these elements).

It turns out that as well as being a voracious reader, Matilda is a storyteller.  

She tells the tale of Escapologist and the Acrobat:

although they loved each other, although they were famous and everyone loved them, they were sad.

MATILDA collects two dolls from the house. She uses them to carry on a conversation.

ACROBAT [off-stage]

We have everything . . .

MATILDA

"We have everything that the world has to offer," said the wife.

ESCAPOLOGIST [off-stage]

We have everything . . .

MATILDA

"But we do not have the one thing in the world we want most."

ACROBAT and ESCAPOLOGIST [off-stage]

But the one thing . . .

MATILDA

"We do not have a child."

ESCAPOLOGIST [off-stage]

Patience, my love.

MATILDA

"Patience, my love," the husband replied. "Time is on our side. Even time loves us."

**********

MATILDA

But time is the one thing no one is master of. And as time passed, they grew quite old, and still they had no child. At night, they listened to the silence of their big, empty house, and they would imagine how beautiful it would be if it was filled with the sound of a child playing.

**********

MATILDA

Their sadness overwhelmed them, and drew them into ever more dangerous feats, as their work became the only place they could escape the inescapable tragedy of their lives! 

Just as they plan to perform the greatest feat ever known to man: The Burning Woman Hurling Through the Air With Dynamite in Her Hair Over Sharks And Spiky Objects Caught By the Man Locked in the Cage

MATILDA and ACROBAT [off stage]

"It is our destiny – "

MATILDA – said the wife, smiling sadly and slipping her hand into his. 

MATILDA and ACROBAT [off stage]"It is where the loneliness of life has led us."

They discover the acrobat is finally pregnant after all these years.  But their attempts to cancel the event are thwarted.

MATILDA and the ACROBAT'S SISTER [off-stage]

"A contract was signed to perform this feat, and perform this feat you shall!"

**********

A contract is a contract is a contract! My hands are tied. The Burning Woman, Hurling Through the Air, with Dynamite in Her Hair, Over Sharks and Spiky Objects, Caught by the Man Locked in a Cage will be performed, and performed this day, or . . . off to prison you both shall go!"

**********

MATILDA

The great escapologist had to escape from the cage, lean out, catch his wife with one hand, grab a fire extinguisher with the other, and put out the flames on her specially-designed dress within twelve seconds before they reached the dynamite and blew his wife's head off!

**********

MATILDA

The trick started well. The moment the specially-designed dress was set alight, the acrobat swung into the air. The crowd held their breath as she hurled over the sharks and spiky objects. One second. Two seconds. They watched as the flames crept up the dress. Three seconds. Four seconds. She began to reach out her arms towards the cage. Five seconds. Six seconds! Suddenly, the padlocks pinged open, and the huge chains fell away. Seven seconds. Eight seconds. The door flung open, and the escapologist reached out one huge, muscled arm to catch his wife and their child. Nine seconds! Ten seconds!

**********

MATILDA

Eleven seconds! And he grabs her hand, and . . . and . . . and suddenly, the flames are covered in foam before they can both be blown to pieces.

MRS PHELPS

Hooray! So the story does have a happy ending after all.

MATILDA

No. Maybe it was the thought of the child. Maybe it was nerves. But the escapologist used just a touch too much foam. And suddenly, their hands became slippy, and she fell.

MRS PHELPS

No. Was . . . Was she okay? Did . . . Did she survive?

The sheet parts and the ESCAPOLOGIST walks slowly forward, carrying the ACROBAT in his arms.

MATILDA

She broke every bone in her body. Except for the ones at the ends of her little fingers. She did manage to live long enough to have their child, but the effort was too great. "Love our little girl," she said. "Love our daughter with all your heart. She was all we ever wanted."

The ESCAPOLOGIST carries the ACROBAT off the front of the stage.

ACROBAT'S VOICE

Love our girl with everything. She is everything.

MATILDA

And then, she died.

I'm absolutely bawling by this stage.

**********

We can do all we can to put things right, to change the end of our stories.  But it doesn't guarantee the outcome we desire wont slip through our fingers just as everything looks like its going to be okay.

Courgette and Duck Green Coconut Curry with Noodles, (plus green curry paste recipe)

While we were trying to conceive Poppy, I was working for a company based in Paris.  My team were based in Poland and the South Coast of England so most of my work was done over the phone from my home office.  Every couple of weeks I had to go to head office for a couple of days for 'management meetings'.  

Snore.

A couple of days a month working in Paris sounds rather glamorous, but really, work travel is work travel and tends to involve too much work and too much travel.

It interrupts your sleep patterns.  I had to get up at 5am to catch the Eurostar train which would get me into the office at midday and I didn't get home until after 8pm on the day I returned.

It interrupts your eating patterns.  Eating out for every meal becomes old very quickly - especially when you're trying to eat as nutrient rich foods as you can. 

There just are no good choices available in ready made foods and you don't know the quality of what will be in the meal you order in restaurants. Although I will say this much - ordering restaurant food in Paris was much less of a concern in this regard than ordering restaurant food in the other city I once regularly had to do work travel to - Dallas.  At least the French value fresh ingredients prepared fairly simply.

In any case, I'd occasionally pop out to the supermarket in the lunch hour and pick up a bottle or two of cheap French wine to bring back to London in my hand-luggage at a fraction of the price it would cost here.  

We took said wine to a dinner party and the host asked if I could pick up some confit duck for him sometime as it was half the price in Euros as you can find it for Pounds in London.  The next time I could fit it in I did, and squeezed another tin in my bag for posterity.

As part of eating the cupboard bare before our move, I finally opened that tin last week and Mr Duncan made us a lovely traditional confit duck leg meal with greens and potato.

We have two legs left and this is what I did with one of them.

Fertility Focus:

Coconut milk is a source of healthy saturated fat which aids in vitamin absorption and balancing hormones.
Courgette contains iron and vitamins A, Bs (including folate) and C and the skin is full of fibre.
Spinach is rich in iron, folate and vitamin K

Ingredients

• Fat from the confit duck
• Onion
• Green curry paste (see below)
• Coconut milk
• Courgette
• Shredded duck leg
• Egg noodles
• Spinach

Method

1.  Boil noodles until cooked.  

2.  Rinse, drain and set aside.  

3.  Heat duck fat in wok until melted and chop onion into wedges.  

4.  Stir fry onion until slightly soft

5.  Mix in green curry paste.  

6.  Cook for a further couple of minutes. 

7.  Add coconut milk and mix until paste dissolves.  

8.  Bring to a low simmer and allow to reduce/thicken for about 5 minutes.
9.  Add chopped courgette, duck and noodles.  

10.  Heat through for three minutes. 

11.  Remove from heat.  

12.  Stir through chopped spinach until wilted.  

Serve.

Green Curry Paste

This is a recipe from Smokin' Pot, a Thai/Cambodian restaurant and cookery school in Battambang where Mr Duncan and I once took a class in Khmer-style cooking.

• 1/4 tsp dried coriander seeds
• 1/4 tsp dried cumin seeds
• 1/4 tsp black peppercorn
• 1/4 tsp salt
• 1/2 tsp finely chopped ginger
• 1/2 tsp kaffir lime peel, finely chopped (I used grated peel from a regular lime)
• 1 tbsp finely chopped shallots (I used onion)
• 1/2 tsp shrimp paste (or substitute 2x anchovies with 2 tbsp water)
• 1 1/2 tsp crushed lemongrass
• 1 tbsp finely chopped coriander root
• 1/2 tbsp crushed garlic
• 1/2 tsp turmeric
• 1/3 cup basil leaves
• About 10 small green chillies

1.  Toast cumin and coriander seeds over a low heat until brown.

2.  Place toasted seeds in mortar and grind to a powder with pestle.  

3.  Add remaining ingredients and pound to a paste.

This makes enough for about four meals for two.  

I store the extra in the fridge covered with olive oil until I need it.

Imam Bayildi - Turkish Aubergine (eggplant) and Tomato dip

Scoop it up and pile it onto Turkish bread

This was my favourite dish when I was waitressing at a restaurant in Istanbul.

I did not intend to waitress while I was living in Istanbul.  It just kind of came to me.  

I used to go to a particular restaurant around the corner from my room, in the evenings, to study my Turkish language texts and relax with a glass of wine.  It wasn't long before the owner asked if I had any CDs as they were bored with their selection.  So then I used to study and be in charge of the CD player behind the bar for the few hours a night I was at the restaurant.

One night after I'd been going there for about a month, the restaurant was super-busy and understaffed.  The sole waiter was covering both floors of the restaurant and the bar and I could see he was running out of clean glasses for drinks and the dishwasher was full.  

So I went behind the bar, emptied out the clean glassware and put it away, re-filled the dishwasher and turned it on again.  I cleared some tables and ran orders downstairs to the kitchen for about an hour, while the waiter focussed on taking and delivering orders, then I went back to my books.

The next day the owner offered me a job for $10.00 USD a night.

The restaurant was just around the corner from the Four Seasons hotel and got a lot of well heeled American tourists as clientele.  He needed an experienced worker who also spoke good English as there were often mixups with the communication with Turkish-only speaking staff.  I agreed to work for a few weeks until he found a local person with the English skills he was looking for.  

I ended up working there for about three months.

My own prowess in Turkish didn't stretch to the names for spices when the chefs explained to me how to make Imam Bayildi (lots of pointing and miming was involved) so I'm not sure if the recipe is exactly the same as theirs.  Goodness knows every Turkish recipe has a thousand different ways of making it!  But I'm always pretty happy with how this version turns out.

Fertility Focus:

Aubergine is full of antioxidants and also provides folate and vitamin K.
Dates are rich in minerals including calcium, magnesium and potassium as well as containing vitamin B6 which can help increase progesterone levels in your luteal phase.
Tomatoes are full of the antioxidant lycopene which boosts sperm health and also contain folate, B6, vitamin A and vitamin E.
Turmeric is good for stabilising blood sugar levels which helps with managing weight and hormone balance.

Ingredients

• Aubergine
• Coconut oil
• Onion
• Chilli powder
• Turmeric
• Cumin
• Tomatoes
• Sultanas

Method

1.  Dice 2 large aubergines.  

2.  Heat 2 spoonfuls of coconut oil in a large pan and fry the aubergine for about ten minutes over a medium high heat so it browns a little and gets soft.  

3.  When it is quite soft but not slushy, tip into a colander to drain.
4.  Dice the onion and add to the pan.  

5.  Saute until soft.

6.  Add half a teaspoon each of the spices and cook for a further minute.  

7.  Return the aubergine to the pan with two large diced tomatoes and a handful of sultanas.  I didn't have any sultanas so used a few chopped up dates instead which added the required touch of sweetness and nicely disappeared into the mix.
8.  Stir in a Jamie Oliver sized splash of olive oil and simmer uncovered, on a low heat for 20-30 minutes, stirring occasionally to prevent sticking.
9.  Serve warm or cold.  

We enjoyed this with toasted pita bread and a yoghurt and cucumber raita (known as cajic in Turkish).

Third time lucky?

My only belly shot - Pipkin and I at 14 weeks

So.

For once my two week wait symptoms were not actually PMS.  I got a positive result on my home pregnancy test today.

Identical symptoms to the past three cycles. Completely opposite results.

Bizarre.

Part of me feels - whew, I get another chance.

Part of me feels  - oh no, here we go again.

At least the age statistics are on my side for once.  Apparently at my age 50% of pregnancies end in loss.  Given my two losses in a row, statistically I'm due for a live one.

I do know its not that simple though and I won't be counting any chickens until they hatch.

Farmhouse vegetable soup with croutons

Last weekend the weather was crappy and we had nothing but a bunch of odds and ends left from our veggie box so I thought a good old fashioned farmhouse soup was in order.

I remember this as a Sunday evening staple in winter while I was growing up. 

It is filling, tasty and extremely versatile.  I had no appreciation of it as a child, but its also a pretty inexpensive way to feed a horde of hungry children.

I find it oddly comforting.

As part of eating nutrient rich foods to support my fertility, I've added bone broth to my diet, mostly in the form of chicken broth which I make after a roast chicken dinner.  I normally end up with about three litres and freeze it in 500 ml portions for use in other meals.  I don't really follow a recipe for that but here are some instructions at Natural Fertility and Wellness.

We've had lamb chops a few times this year and it seemed a waste to throw out the bones, but I never had enough to make a proper batch of stock with them. I've slowly been amassing lamb bones in the freezer two by two.

Normally I make my soups with chicken stock from the freezer but I'm all out out and there didn't seem to be much point in buying more lamb bones to make a proper batch of stock and therefore increase the stuff I need to use up from the freezer before we move.   So I kind of made the stock at the same time as I made the soup by starting with the frozen lamb bones (I had about eight chops).

You can pretty much add anything to this soup veggie-wise.

Ingredients

• Lamb bones and water or pre-made bone broth
• Garlic
• Onion
• Leek
• Carrot
• Bay leaf
• Peppercorns
• Potato
• Rice
• Barley
• Quinoa

Method

1.  Place the lamb bones in a large pot with a close fitting lid and cook the bones on a low heat, stirring occasionally so they get evenly coloured.  You could also roast in a hot oven for 20 or so minutes.

2.  Chop the veg into bite sized chunks. 

3.  When the fat is melted and the bones are browned add a splash of water to deglaze the pan and pick up all the browned bits of lamb/fat stuck to the bottom of the pot.
4.  Add the chopped veg and stir around until they get a bit soft and a bit coloured as well.  

5.  Tip in enough water to cover everything completely along with the bay leaf and peppercorns and simmer, covered, on a low heat for an hour.  

6.  Fish the bones out of the pot and set aside.  

7.  Into the pot, throw a handful each of rice, barley and quinoa (or pasta or lentils or whatever else you have on hand) to absorb some of the water and thicken things up.  

8.  When the meat bones are cool, pick off any remaining meat and add to the soup. 

It is ready when the grains/pulses you've added are cooked.  You may need to add more water as you go.

To make the croutons simply butter some bread on both sides, chop into little squares and fry in a frying pan over a medium heat.

Serve in bowls topped with croutons and garnished with grated cheese and parsley.