So, what worked? - TTC edition

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I know I'm very lucky in naturally conceiving and bearing a healthy first baby in my 40s.  

I'm recording what I did here, both for posterity and to remind myself of the hard work good luck often is founded upon.  

I put in a lot of work to conceive Pickle and on those days when I start to wonder if I am not cut out to be a mother, I can remind myself of how much I wanted her and the effort I put into it.

For the record, I think IVF is an amazing tool.  However, at 40 it was strongly inferred that, although my numbers all came back okay, I was simply too old.  

For that reason (and the fact I dislike the idea of unnecessary medical interventions) I didn't pursue the referral the doctor half heartedly offered but decided to do what I could to create an optimum environment in my body for conception.  

If I fell pregnant, then good.  If not, I'd be in better health in my 40s than in any other time of my life.

Ha!  I say that like I was sane, but in fact I was like any other woman having difficulty falling pregnant... slightly obsessed.

I did a lot of reading on fertility and fertile health in both men and women.  

I learned more about my cycle.  

Until my late 30s I was unaware that my menstrual cycle could be straightforward and pain free.  I had always experienced extreme pain from cramping, dark blood and large clots.  I thought this was normal and just to be suffered.  

It was eye opening to learn otherwise.  

Seriously - this information should be taught to girls when they first menstruate instead of teaching them to self medicate with painkillers.

I started recording my basal body temperature with a bbt thermometer each morning and learned I was still ovulating regularly.  

I made changes to my (already pretty healthy) lifestyle to improve my cycle and the health of my eggs.  

• I ate for fertility 
• ensuring my diet was rich in nutritious foods.  
• On the advice of Emma Cannon's "The Baby Making Bible' introduced both red meat and home-made bone broth into my diet.  
• I started eating breakfast and cut out alcohol and sweets to promote stable blood sugar.  
• I bought a slow juicer and drank freshly made organic green juice every day.

• Following the advice of Zita West and Marilyn Glenville, I took supplements (COQ10, Royal Jelly, Omega3, clover infusion, nettle tea, spirulina, maca, selenium) to improve my reproductive health.

• I've never been one for cosmetics, but swapped my skincare products for olive oil soap and coconut oil as moisturiser to decrease my exposure to topical toxins.  I have to say my prone to eczema skin has never felt better.  

• I stopped using the sauna and hot tub in the gym.  I can't remember exactly why.  Probably in case I was pregnant before I knew it?  I think I read something about overheating the body making it less likely for a newly fertilised egg to implant and couldnt find anything more about it.  Not taking any chances regardless!

• I was uncertain about acupuncture until I bought and read 'The Infertility Cure' by Randine Lewis.  
• I started seeing an acupuncturist and after only two treatments, my next period, for the first time in my life, was of the painless, bright red blood associated with fertile health.  
• I was thrilled to conceive Poppy the next time I ovulated after that.

• I practiced meditation and yoga (as best I could) and fell asleep listening to the Circle and Bloom natural cycle fertility programme playing under my pillow every night.  

• From a spiritual/energetic perspective I decided that if I wanted children in my life then I should have children in my life. So to that end 
• I volunteered for the local cub scout troop each week.  
• I also made an effort to focus on creation and nurturing.  
• Starting a garden to nurture, 
• Inventing recipes to nourish, 
• Even starting this blog to foster and record my creative side.

• After my losses I sought massage to help me physically and emotionally process the grief.  I also consulted a hypnotherapist to identify and address any mind/body issues.

Of course with so many things, I don't know what, if anything, was the 'magic bullet'.  

There is simply no way to tell. 

 It might be that after nearly five years of 'trying' it was just my time statistically.

On reflection, making an effort to do something (Anything. Everything!) to increase my odds gave me some sense of control and definitely helped my mental state.  Also taking good care of my body made me feel vital and healthy which also contributed to a better state of mind.

While I (probably like every other not-yet-pregnant woman) would be quite happy to throttle anyone who says 'maybe you should just relax' -  deep down I believe that, for me, (a bit of a workaholic), there may be an element of truth in it.  

Not in taking a brief holiday, or not thinking about how to conceive, or anything cursory, but in consciously taking actions to de-stress my mind and body and prepare myself to be a mother as much as possible.

Ultimately, I believe not working and practicing extreme self-care gave me the opportunity to take a physical break and discover the mental space needed to slow down and allow a baby to come to me.

I am so grateful.

Coming up for air at 8 weeks...

Out and about in our stretchy wrap

The past 8 weeks have passed in a blur of feeding, burping, settling and weighing wee Pickle.  

I feel like I haven't had a minute to collect my thoughts much less write and publish them, so I'm in awe of some of the ALI bloggers I follow who have become new mamas and managed to keep up with their posting.  

My hat is off to you.

I also would like to send my congratulations and understanding to those who have decided to close their blogs now their little ones are here.  I'll miss your voices and wish you all the best.

I expect to continue to blog intermittently about things I create (probably things for Pickle), and in time perhaps, our efforts to give Pickle a sibling.  We'd prefer Pickle not to be an only child, however I am very aware my chances decrease with every day I age and just because I beat the odds once doesn't mean I can do it again.  Of course it doesn't mean I can't either but I'm not sure I could go through another loss or so in the process.  The point is moot for now as I'm unlikely to become pregnant anyway while I breastfeed Pickle.

My high nutrition diet has gone a bit awry since Pickle's birth too so that is not going to help my fertility.  While we ate all the food I had stashed in my freezer the first few weeks, I dropped the baby weight almost immediately and am now struggling to keep up the calorie intake required for breastfeeding a hungry baby without resorting to quick solutions like pasta bakes and various things on toast. 

I had planned on spending the first four weeks at home working on getting to know each other and figuring out a rhythm.  It feels like I spent the first six weeks running around to appointments: scheduled maternal and child health nurse appointments, weighings every three days, lactation consultants, hearing test, hip ultrasound (due to breech).  I am relieved to say we've finally settled into a bit of a rhythm in the last week or so.

I finally managed to complete and submit my somewhat garbled essay by the deadline by having Mr Duncan have her (bringing her to me for feedings) for a weekend.  As my friends kept reminding me, it needed to be submitted on time, it didn't need to be good.  Hopefully its good enough and I get the continuing education credits.

A quick summary of posts I've meant to write about in the last 8 weeks:

1.  Pickle's birth

I won't write a birth story, suffice to say I'm not a fan of spinal anaesthetic or c-sections, but the team were great and the result was a healthy baby. 

I remain irritated at the midwives at my first new hospital appointment for telling me to cut back on calories and the obstetrician at the IUGR ultrasound for saying Pickle was in the 60th percentile for size so we were expecting a larger baby.  

She was 2.6kg (5 pounds, 11 oz).  

Small but perfect.

2.  Breastfeeding

I was concerned about not having early skin to skin and baby led breastfeeding with a c-section and found breastfeeding very difficult.  

The three days I spent in hospital Pickle wouldn't latch, despite various midwives grabbing my breasts and shoving them at her tiny mouth which I found extremely unhelpful.  

I managed to express good amounts of colostrum and feed it to her in a syringe.  Once my milk came in Pickle would sort of latch and then immediately fall asleep.

By the time of our two week visit she'd lost the weight she'd gained since birth and the maternal health nurse strongly suggested supplementing with formula. I convinced her to agree to my supplementing with expressed breast milk and she recommended we hire an electric pump at considerable expense and feed Pickle for only five minutes a side before expressing and giving her the expressed milk from a bottle.  

Bad idea.  

Poor Pickle wouldn't take my milk from a bottle and ended up starving with horrible tummy pains from too much foremilk.  After two days of pumping and lots of internet research I took the executive decision to ignore the health nurse advice and return to our sleepy feeds and I'm pleased to say that at 8 weeks she is now a 3.9kg (8 pounds, 9oz).  

We still don't have a great latch and she gulps down way too much air, which causes its own set of problems, but breastfeeding is no longer painful and Pickle is clearly getting enough to eat now.  So that will have to do.

3.  I had been reading about elimination communication/natural infant hygiene  while I was pregnant.  It made sense to me that babies instinctively don't want to sit in their own mess.  And it is a common practise in other cultures - I remember seeing Mothers hold out their babies when we were driving through Africa.  I was considering trying it when Pickle was 3 or 4 months old, however at five weeks she began peeing on the changing mat each time her nappy was taken off so we started holding her over a tiny potty at each change.  

I can now tell when she wants to go about 80% of the time and very seldom need to change a dirty nappy (she makes an unmistakeable set of noises to indicate she needs to go prior), although there are still wet ones.  

Pickle hilariously loves sitting perched upon her tiny throne and the posture really helps her pass gas and ease her tummy pains.  

We'll see how it goes as she gets older and more active...

L.

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Farmhouse vegetable soup with croutons

Last weekend the weather was crappy and we had nothing but a bunch of odds and ends left from our veggie box so I thought a good old fashioned farmhouse soup was in order.

I remember this as a Sunday evening staple in winter while I was growing up. 

It is filling, tasty and extremely versatile.  I had no appreciation of it as a child, but its also a pretty inexpensive way to feed a horde of hungry children.

I find it oddly comforting.

As part of eating nutrient rich foods to support my fertility, I've added bone broth to my diet, mostly in the form of chicken broth which I make after a roast chicken dinner.  I normally end up with about three litres and freeze it in 500 ml portions for use in other meals.  I don't really follow a recipe for that but here are some instructions at Natural Fertility and Wellness.

We've had lamb chops a few times this year and it seemed a waste to throw out the bones, but I never had enough to make a proper batch of stock with them. I've slowly been amassing lamb bones in the freezer two by two.

Normally I make my soups with chicken stock from the freezer but I'm all out out and there didn't seem to be much point in buying more lamb bones to make a proper batch of stock and therefore increase the stuff I need to use up from the freezer before we move.   So I kind of made the stock at the same time as I made the soup by starting with the frozen lamb bones (I had about eight chops).

You can pretty much add anything to this soup veggie-wise.

Ingredients

• Lamb bones and water or pre-made bone broth
• Garlic
• Onion
• Leek
• Carrot
• Bay leaf
• Peppercorns
• Potato
• Rice
• Barley
• Quinoa

Method

1.  Place the lamb bones in a large pot with a close fitting lid and cook the bones on a low heat, stirring occasionally so they get evenly coloured.  You could also roast in a hot oven for 20 or so minutes.

2.  Chop the veg into bite sized chunks. 

3.  When the fat is melted and the bones are browned add a splash of water to deglaze the pan and pick up all the browned bits of lamb/fat stuck to the bottom of the pot.
4.  Add the chopped veg and stir around until they get a bit soft and a bit coloured as well.  

5.  Tip in enough water to cover everything completely along with the bay leaf and peppercorns and simmer, covered, on a low heat for an hour.  

6.  Fish the bones out of the pot and set aside.  

7.  Into the pot, throw a handful each of rice, barley and quinoa (or pasta or lentils or whatever else you have on hand) to absorb some of the water and thicken things up.  

8.  When the meat bones are cool, pick off any remaining meat and add to the soup. 

It is ready when the grains/pulses you've added are cooked.  You may need to add more water as you go.

To make the croutons simply butter some bread on both sides, chop into little squares and fry in a frying pan over a medium heat.

Serve in bowls topped with croutons and garnished with grated cheese and parsley.

Sweet Potato, Kale and Quinoa Fertility Superfood Salad

Fertility super-food salad

"Every woman I know who has eaten sweet potatoes every day on my recommendation has either had a baby or is pregnant at the time of writing, having conceived within four months of being on the sweet potato-rich diet!"

So says Sarah Dobbyn on page 121 of The Fertility Diet.  She also says that sweet potatoes contain sixty minerals compared to the three in white potatoes and are much lower on the glycemic index.

I thought it was yams, but there are rumours on the TTC forums that sweet potatoes are so good for fertility it increases the chance of conceiving multiples.

Mr Duncan and I don't tend to eat that much in the way of white potatoes and substitute the weekly allocation in the veg box for something else every other week or more.  

Low GI is good for Mr Duncan's blood pressure diet and although I'm not sure I'm up to eating sweet potato every day, or up to having multiples, it seems like a good food to add to my arsenal, so I ordered some for this weeks veg box.

The weather is still nice and warm, so tonight I wanted something a bit lighter than your average roast sweet potato dinner.  Given I had a fresh delivery of kale and quinoa in the cupboard I thought I'd make a super-fertility salad for dinner.

Fertility Focus

Avocado is high in Vitamin E which helps increase sperm mobility and keeps sperm from clumping together.
Kale is full of antioxidants, vitamin A, vitamin K and is a good plant source of calcium.
Quinoa is a plant based form of protein, and contains all nine of the essential amino acids needed for cell renewal.
Sweet Potato is full of antioxidants, vitamin C and Vitamin A which is good for both cervical fluid and the development of your folicles

Ingredients

• Kale
• Quinoa
• Sweet Potato
• Avocado
• Cashew nuts

Method

1.  Soak the cashew nuts in water.
2.  Put the oven on to 180 degrees C.  

3.  Wash and chop the sweet potato into bite sized cubes.  

4.  Place on a baking tray, drizzle with a little olive oil, and toss so that most of the sweet potato is coated.  

5.  Bake in oven for about 20 minutes, raising temperature to 200 degrees for the last five minutes if you want a bit of brown/crunch.  

6.  Remove from oven and allow to cool.
7.  Boil the quinoa for 10 minutes/according to package instructions.  

8.  Rinse and allow to cool.
9.  Wash and shred the kale then use your hands to 'massage' it, so it softens.
10.  Peel and chop the avocado into cubes.  

11.  Rinse and drain the cashew nuts.
12.  Toss all ingredients in a large bowl with a little balsamic vinegar.

It was delicious!

L.
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Review: The Fertility Diet, Sarah Dobbyn - Maximize Your Chances of Having a Baby at Any Age

The Fertility Diet

The Fertility Diet
How to Maximize Your Chances of Having a Baby at Any Age
Sarah Dobbyn
Simon & Schuster UK, 2012 

As an Amazon Associate I will earn from any qualifying purchases you make from Amazon.  However I didn't when I purchased and reviewed this book over a decade ago.

  

I have to admit, what attracted me to this book is its subtitle.  Age is not necessarily on my side in my attempts to conceive and carry a baby to term and I am keen to maximise my chances where I can.I already eat a pretty healthy diet and follow the usual lifestyle advice for women who wish to get pregnant.  I eat organic, home-cooked food, gave up coffee, alcohol etc and follow the advice on sites like Naturally Knocked Up and Wellness Mama.

The Fertility Diet was recommended to me on Amazon.  I wasn't convinced I needed to read it.  But it nagged at me so I checked out the reviews which ranged from 'the woman is crazy' to 'I got pregnant at 42 because of this book'.  

 

So I tried to find a copy of the book in the library catalog to no avail.  Though my google skills did uncover a comment by the author on a ttc forum claiming to have conceived and birthed a child when she was 44.  This gave some credence to the claims about maximising your chances at any age.

Sigh.

So I ordered it.  

 

Even as I am giving away books to charity shops before we move to Australia, I am replenishing the shelves...

What is The Fertility Diet all about?

Actually, the author covers many, many different aspects of TTC.  In addition to the usual nutrition/lifestyle/exercise/environment advice she also looks at fertility blockers, detoxing and aspects of natural living. 

It's not just about what you eat.  Each chapter concludes with an 'action plan'.  These are steps to put the recommendations in that chapter into action in your life.

I enjoyed the initial chapters about the 'Ingredients for Baby Making' and 'Pushing Snooze on the Biological Clock'. They give a rundown on

• the biological conditions for conception,

• how aging affects these and

• how aging can be slowed down,

citing various research studies. 

These chapters give me good hope.  From this perspective, my fertility age is probably not the same as my chronological age.  I had an inordinately healthy childhood which established a lifetime of good eating habits.

I found the chapters on the Fertility Diet itself quite boring with lists of various foods and their benefits, without the backup of research references.  They did, however, reinforce that I've been eating the right sort of foods to maximise my chances (and that I know way too much about the subject).

I don't have any specific fertility issues (other than age), so I skipped through those chapters.   Except the one on miscarriage, though I didn't learn anything new to prevent losing another baby.

 

Was it worth buying The Fertility Diet?

I am glad I bought it.  It gives me hope and reassurance I am maximising my chances of a healthy conception.  I learned that I pretty much follow the Fertility Diet in my day to day life. 

My recipes are also more interesting and taste better than the ones in the book :-).

What are my main take-aways?

I will take on board several ideas from the book.  As a result of reading it I will

• eat more raw foods, 

• start using digestive enzymes and 

• aim for better quality sleep.  

Getting more natural sunlight can be an effort in London when you work full-time, but I'll work on that too.  

It will be easier in Australia.

I will also stop drinking tonic water as quinine is apparently associated with miscarriage.  This is a bit of a pity.  Tonic is my non-alcoholic drink of choice when out with friends or colleagues.

I'll leave the suggestions on colonic irrigation, lunaception, drinking sole and taking loads of additional supplements - for now.

We'll see how it goes.  Fingers crossed!

L.
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Lentil and Parsley Fertility Salad

Packed with fertility goodness

Ever since I read The Fertility Diet I've been trying to increase the amount of raw food in my diet.  

I dont want to go 100% raw, it seems too extreme and directly contradicts some Traditional Chinese Medicine advice from my acupuncturist, but I figure now the weather is finally warming up I can aspire to making my meals at least 50% raw.

The book also recommended parsley as a good herb for fertility, benefiting the kidneys, liver, adrenals and uterus.  

I'm usually a fan of parsley but the pigeons won the war over the parsley in my garden so I only have a small indoor plant.  

We recently discovered the local mediterranean grocer sells enormous bunches of parsley for only 80p and is a nice 20 minute post-prandial walk through the park away, so I've been experimenting with making parsley salads that aren't tabbouleh to keep things fresh.

Fertility focus

Lentils are a good source of folic acid, full of iron and provide a non-meat form of protein.

Parsley has high levels of vitamin K and both iron and vitamin C (which helps the body absorb iron.

Sunflower seeds are rich in zinc, selenium and vitamin E and essential fatty acids.

Ingredients

• Brown lentils
• Parsley
• Spring onion
• Tomato
• Sunflower seeds

Method

1.  Soak sunflower seeds.

2.  Soak, rinse and drain lentils.  

3.  Simmer lentils in fresh water for about 20 minutes, until cooked.  

4.  Rinse with cold water, drain and allow to cool.

5.  Chop parsley, spring onion and tomato.

6.  Drain and rinse sunflower seeds.

7.  Mix it all together and enjoy!

I served the salad with grilled chicken thigh and courgettes sautéed in garlic and olive oil.

Al Fresco dining

Lamb and Butternut Tagine with Tabouleh

Melt-in-your-mouth meat

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With regard to fertility, red meat confuses me a little.  

Meat was never something I enjoyed eating.  

When I was a toddler and ate red meat, it would make me ill, so my parents stopped giving it to me.  

As a teen, I claimed I was allergic for school camps, but when I ate at a friends house before sleepovers I would try to eat what I could out of thanks and respect for the meal being provided.  

One night my friend laughed at me saying she thought it was funny that I pushed my meat around the plate, only ate about half and then spent the rest of the night turning green.  I wonder if her parents thought I had an eating disorder - I was skinny enough.

In any case I stopped trying to eat it after that. 

When I started seeing my acupuncturist in January, hoping to balance my cycle after my miscarriage, she diagnosed me as blood deficient according to TCM.  She suggested eating some red meat would help with balancing that and therefore improving fertility.  

I was very happy to take her advice - especially as I conceived within six weeks of seeing her.  

Other sources eg The Fertility Diet suggests a fully vegetarian/almost vegan diet would be best.  

As a compromise I have promised Mr Duncan that we can buy red meat once a week, but I try to cook it with lots of veg so we're only consuming smallish portions.

So I still had half of the butternut left that needed using and half a can of chickpeas left over from the curry on Wednesday so I asked Mr Duncan to pick up about 300 grams of organic lamb to make a tagine.

Fertility focus

Butternut Squash is rich in beta-carotene which your body converts to vitamin A and also contains zinc and selenium which is important for ovarian and sperm health.
Chickpeas are a good plant source of protein.
Apricots are a good source of beta-carotene.
Lamb is a source of protein, heme iron and zinc, though go easy on quantity as too much meat will upset the alkaline balance you're trying to achieve.
Parsley (in the tabouleh) is recommended in The Fertility Diet by Sarah Dobbyn as one of the best foods for promoting fertility with high levels of vitamin K and both iron and vitamin C which helps the body absorb iron.

Ingredients

• 300 gms lamb (we used neck)
• Ras el hanout - this is basically a mix of your best morroccan flavoured spices.  I had a small jar I received as a gift to use up, but otherwise I'd have mixed together my own from whatever I had in the cupboard.
• Coconut oil
• Onion
• Garlic
• Ginger
• Chicken stock
• Butternut
• Chickpeas
• Handful chopped dried apricots

Method

1.  Chop up the lamb into small chunks and rub with the spices.  

2.  Leave in the fridge to 'marinate' in the spices for at least two hours.
3.  Set the oven to 180 C. 

4.  Heat a teaspoon of coconut oil over a medium flame in an oven-proof lidded pot (I used our camp oven from the Landy, but we're planning on buying one from Le Crueset).

5.  Brown the lamb in batches and remove to a plate.  

6.  In the same pan sweat the onions, garlic and ginger.  

7.  Return the lamb and add the chicken stock.  

8.  Bring to a simmer, cover with lid and put in the oven to cook very slowly for 45 minutes.

9.  After 45 minutes, stir and add the butternut, chickpeas and apricot - add a splash of water if it is too dry to nearly cover the butternut.  I mixed the butternut under the meat at this point so didnt need any more moisture.  

10.  Return to oven for another 20-30 minutes.  

11.  It is ready when the butternut is tender, the meat should fall apart.

I served this on quinoa with home made tabouleh.

 

Butternut Squash, Spinach and Chickpea Curry with Chapati

Home made chapati

This post may contain some compensated links. Read the disclosure for more info.

I've been reading The Fertility Diet by Sarah Dobson.  And although my usual eating style is very close to her suggestions I want to further increase our intake of healthy whole foods and cut down on Mr Duncan's consumption of meat.

This week we got a butternut squash and some spinach.  

Now I love making pumpkin soup with any orange coloured squash and steamed spinach is one of my favourite side dishes but we have loads of spices to use up before we leave for Australia so I decided it was time for a curry.

Fertility focus

Turmeric is good for stabilising blood sugar levels which helps with managing weight and hormone balance.
Home made Chicken Stock is recommended in The Baby Making Bible by Emma Cannon for nurturing fertility
Chickpeas like all legumes are a good plant source of protein.
Butternut Squash is rich in Vitamin A and also contains zinc and selenium
Spinach, like all leafy greens, is rich in iron, folic acid and vitamin K
 

Ingredients

• Coconut Oil
• Onion
• Garlic
• Ginger
• Tumeric
• Garam Masala
• Butternut squash
• Chicken stock
• Chickpeas
• Coconut milk
• Spinach 

I made this for two (though it turned out to be three servings) with half a butternut squash, half a tin of chickpeas and about 100mls coconut milk.

Method

1.  Heat a teaspoon of coconut oil in a wok and sweat roughly chopped onion until softened.  

2.  Mix in finely chopped garlic and ginger then add turmeric and garam masala.
3.  While the onion is sweating, peel and chop the butternut squash into bite sized chunks.  

4.  Add the chopped butternut to the wok and fry off a little until all covered by spices and onion.  

5.  Pour in enough chicken stock to just cover the squash.  

6.  Put on a lid and let it simmer for about 15 minutes until the butternut is nearly done.
7.  Add coconut cream and chickpeas and simmer uncovered until the sauce thickens enough to cling to the back of your wooden spoon.  

8.  Stir in chopped spinach until it wilts.

I served this with home made chapatis based on a very cut down version of this recipe - basically half a cup of flour, a dash of olive oil and water, rolled very thinly and dry fried for about 45 seconds on each side.

L.
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